It's Ok To Be Just 'Ok'

I'll admit it, I'm usually just an 'ok' mom. I get by and my kids are alive. My house, well, that's not always in pristine shape, but it's decent(ish). It used to bother me, that I was just 'ok'. I read blogs and saw Facebook posts of moms who had it all together, or what appeared to be all together. Their houses were decorated like Martha Stewart herself had been there, and every night, home cooked food was set at the table (with real dishes!). They took  beautiful pictures of their beautiful children, dressed in beautiful clothes, while mine ran through the house half naked, or wearing the same clothes they had the day before. I felt like I couldn't measure up, that I wasn't good enough. So, I tried to be the perfect mom, with the perfect house and the perfect kids, and I failed. Because really, who can be perfect..all the time? This would then upset me, to the point that I was miserable. I spent all my time trying to be perfect, and I was missing out. My kids didn't care how organized my cupboards were, or how perfect of a picture I could take, they just wanted my time. They craved a relationship with me, and I was more worried about the condition of my floors or the image I was portraying to others. An image that I knew I was using to cover up the hurt, loneliness and despair I was feeling inside (we will leave that for another post). Once I realized what I had been doing and how much I had missed, I slowed down. I can't and won't miss anymore moments with these unique and amazing little people I have been given. Yes, I still prefer a clean and organized home, but at the expense of my children? No. So, am I a mom with perfect hair, clothes and house? Nope, but I'm ok with being just 'ok'.

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